Setting up a solid parenting plan after divorce

Divorce is difficult. It's easy to get caught up in your own emotions and forget that your children are losing their stability and are often reeling from what is going on around them.

As you and your spouse settle your marital issues, it's important to determine exactly how you will handle parenting in the future, particularly if you plan to share custody. Even the simplest of details must be spelled out in a parenting plan to guarantee that everyone knows what to expect and what is expected of them.

The divorce rate in New Hampshire in 2014 was higher than the national average, showing that many are dealing with the problems associated with divorce. Creating a solid parenting plan can show your children that you love them and that both parents still desire to be with them as much as possible. This can also eliminate any feelings of being not wanted or being at fault for the divorce.

The following tips can help you create the best plan possible for your family:

Do not take it personally

Even if you trust your ex-spouse, that doesn't mean you should rely on a verbal plan. Put it in writing. You should treat your plan as a business transaction rather than an emotional one. The needs of your children should always come first, but you will need to put your emotions aside and focus on the practical aspects of your parenting plan.

Your children's needs versus your own

While you may not want to be near your ex-spouse, you must remember that your children may still have a desire to spend as much time as possible with both of you. Avoid speaking poorly of your ex-spouse in front of your children and remember that they love you both. Put their needs above yours when it comes to creating a plan.

Expect things to go wrong

Even with a solid parenting plan in place, there will still be situations in which you or your spouse is late or forgets something.. Prepare yourself for these times to keep from feeling overwhelmed.

The routine in the other parent's house may be totally different than yours, and it may take kids some time to adjust. Rather than taking this out on the children or the co-parent, give things some time to settle and for everyone to develop a comfortable pattern.

Stay predictable, safe and stable

A divorce leads to all kinds of stress in a child's live. Creating a good parenting plan is all about providing children with something safe, stable and predictable. Keep as much consistency and structure in your interactions to help your child adjust.

Facing a divorce and designing a parenting plan can seem like daunting tasks if you are doing them on your own. An attorney may be able to help you simplify the process and watch out for your best interests as you sort through the emotions associated with divorce.

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